Today I am thinking about Godly friendship and I want to ask you a few questions. "Are you a good friend? Is there at least one person in your life that you would call a good friend? Is there at least one person who would call YOU a good friend? Are you lacking genuine friendships?
What is the basis for all friendship? Well, I don't want to sound trite, but I grew up singing the old hymn, "What a friend we have in Jesus" and that is my starting point in this post. I have something very practical to say to you concerning friendship in this life, but I start with this: we have friendship with God through Christ.
Abraham was called the friend of God. Jesus said, "Greater love has no man that this...that He lay down his life for his friends." Now admittedly our relationship with God, even as a friend, is different from all other friendships. In John 15:13-15 Jesus said, "You are my friends if you do what I command you..." So we are not equals in our friendship with Christ. Nevertheless, I want you to see that this is the pinnacle of all friendship...this relationship that we have with Him.
When you fall in love with Jesus Christ you are never friendless again. I learned this at a very young age. My personal testimony is this: throughout my childhood, teenage years, young adult and adult years, through times of earthly friendship as well as times of isolation...He has always been my friend. And because of this, I have never been friendless.
I do have something to say to you today about earthly friendships, but I want you to see first, that our friendship with Christ is not something less, not something inadequate. It is the source out of which all other relationships are grown. Never being friendless, because of Jesus, makes an incredible difference in how you approach human friendships!
Because if you have ONE good friend (Jesus) then your earthly friendships will be based on an overflow of love rather than a NEEDY craving for approval. In other words, without this kind of security in Christ, I will approach friendship as something to crave and grasp at in order to try and fill some void in my own life. But if I already have that void filled with my ONE good friend, then the way I approach friendship is by being a friend.
Proverbs 18:24 says "He who would have friends, must show himself friendly." I have met people through the years, who bemoaned the fact that they were alone...and that no one cared about them...that they had no friends. Yet the word of God says that in order to have friends, you must first show yourself to be a friend.
Without the security of having my FIRST FRIEND, Jesus, all of my other friendships are likely to be seedbeds of jealousy and offense and my friendships typically won't last long. You see, a lot of people approach friendship this way: They see people that they think have a certain quality which attracts them and that they hope to have as friends, rather than looking at the people around them and BEING a friend to those where God has placed you.
C.S. Lewis made an interesting observation...He speaks of 'pathetic people who want friends but can never make friends'. Then he says, 'The very condition of having friends comes from the fact that we want something else besides friends." What does that mean? It means that if you and I sit together and there's nothing we agree on...we don't see truth the same...there will be no basis for friendship. Friendship happens when people are pursuing something deeply important to them, and they discover others who share that same thing.
That's what makes the church the ideal place for building friendships, because we all have the same ONE good friend, and if we are pursuing HIM, we will be in agreement with one another and can lean on one another. And in the church, we should all be friends and there should be no cliques where some are excluded.
This is not to say that everyone is your friend in the same way. In fact, apart from your friendship with Christ, you are a truly blessed person if, in this life, you have ONE truly loyal friend that you can count on through the years. A true friend does not change with changing circumstances. A true friendship rises above offenses. A true friend can receive honest, loving correction (Proverbs 27:6). A true friend is not looking for someone to use. A true friend is not jealous of your strengths, your accomplishments, or even other friends that you have have.
Perhaps friendship is eluding you. Perhaps you have been trying to make it happen. Stop trying. Look around you and find people who can offer you nothing. Be like Jesus, and you become a friend to them....a real friend. You may be surprised at what develops. Some people won't respond to you. That's OK. Amos says, "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" So don't try to make something happen. But as you serve Christ, you will find friends.
Everyone needs one good friend, - Jesus. And everyone needs at least one good friend on earth. So why don't you go and be that one good friend that someone needs?
